What does it mean to be “in-between?” We’ve shared our stories on how we ended up here: confused about what to do with our life but eager to embrace the journey. Our motto is, “It’s okay to be in-between,” because we want to acknowledge the reality that life can throw you a whole lot of questions that you don’t know how to answer.
What am I supposed to do with my life? What’s next? What is my passion? How do I achieve my biggest dreams?
As we have met and connected with people first in Springfield and now Tulsa, we’ve started to realize that this feeling of “in-between” doesn’t discriminate. These questions plague the thoughts of people from every background, of every age and race, and of every personality.
We are all wandering around this maze of life trying to figure out what exactly we are supposed to do with it. What is our calling? What is our mission? Sometimes we may even think we have it figured out, only to end up coming upon a goal as a destination we then have to depart from and start all over. Where to next? What now?
Our vision for this blog is for it to be so much more than a place to set our own stories free. We hope it will be a place to acknowledge all of the hard questions and accept that they may never be answered.
We sat down with our new friends Morgan Roberts and Kyle Krueger to talk about these great big life questions. Both have been adventure guides out in Colorado; Kyle on the river and Morgan in the mountains. Morgan is now managing a health food cafe and Kyle works full time with us at Gearhead Outfitters while also finishing up a business degree.
Me: Let’s start this out simple, what do you like to do?
Morgan’s answer: I like to make food. Morgan-safe food. Meaning no wheat, no dairy, no rice, no eggs.
That sounds complicated and awful hard. I think this as I scarf down the entire bowl of corn salsa she brought to our house for this get together. Morgan’s creations will have you eating healthy simply because it tastes better than anything you put together yourself.
Me: Why do you think you love to cook?
Morgan: As a kid my mom let me cook with her. My grandmother owned her own restaurant and my romantic vision is that her spirit kind of comes through me and inspires me. Maybe it’s a genetic thing that draws me to creating with food. Also, I’m so sensitive to so many kinds of food that it’s the easiest way to make sure that I’m going to get what I need and not consume something bad for me. It’s like a game, or a puzzle. I’m given X, Y and Z and it’s up to me to come up with something yummy and also safe.
Well, it’s certainly yummy. At this point I was still snacking on the corn salsa instead of moving onto desert like usual. We tossed the question back to Kyle.
Jackson: What do you like to do?
Kyle: I like to experience new things. I like to be outdoors, hangout with friends… I don’t know, what do I like to do?
Exactly why we’re having this interview, Kyle! It’s hard sometimes, to pinpoint what it is you really enjoy.
Kyle: I was raised in a conservative household and I think I really like taking risks, I like throwing myself into something wholeheartedly, even if I might crash and burn
We admire that. If you never throw yourself into new things, what all are you missing?
We turned the conversation to how these two came together. Morgan and Kyle met at a house party where they sat outside on a “nasty old couch” and talked about the river, rafting and the outdoors.
Kyle: Then she walked away and I thought “I totally screwed that up.”
Later that night Kyle worked up the courage to go find her, couldn’t, so he gave his number to Morgan’s friend and hoped she would pass it on. He ended up sending her a message on Facebook and Morgan replied with some version of ‘yes’ because five years later they’re sitting in our living room with their dog, Oliver, telling us this story. According to them, the first date was nothing special, but the second and third really kicked off their relationship.
Morgan: I went to his place to make dinner and said I was going to make mushroom soup and he goes, “So do you need like a can opener…” and I go, “Actually…” and I start pulling all these things out of my bag; ingredients and kitchen tools and things. And I knew he was thinking “Oh, she’s literally going to make this from scratch.”
Kyle had no idea he was in for years of wonderful cooking.
At this point in the night Oliver let out a moan that reminded me to ask about how this lab-pit mix came into their lives.
Kyle: I was out mowing when he wandered up to our house. I put up posters and an add on Craigslist. When I came home one day and Oliver wasn’t there so I figured it just wasn’t meant to be. That afternoon a girl walked up to my house and said, “Is this your dog?” I said no, but that I’ve been taking care of him. The young girl said, “He’s actually my dog but you can have him.” I said, “ Can I talk to your mom?”
Sure enough, the mom told Kyle that they had realized Oliver was going to be too big for their family and they “had to let him go.”
The rest is history. Oliver has been living the good life ever since.
I don’t know if dogs have thoughts about their goals and ambitions, but I’d bet if they do, Oliver is living his dream every single day. As for his people; what does the dream look like?
Morgan: I want to live where I can climb as many mountains as I want. And get up early every day, and make a whole bunch of good food.
Jackson: Is that what you would describe as happiness?
Morgan: Oh, that’s such a hard question. I would say that loving what you’re doing is happiness. Feeling like you’re making some sort of a difference; that’s happiness.
Kyle: I think happiness…well, people put so much stress on a word like that. I feel like the things in my life that I’m proudest of, or that I appreciate the most, came at some expense. Or it came after extreme difficulty and I wasn’t happy while trying to obtain that, so I don’t feel there will ever be a point in my life where I’m just coasting happy. I feel like it’s supposed to come in waves. Happiness is a lot of times derived after you were the most miserable because you have something to equate that feeling to.
We agree with that. When was the last time you looked around and thought, “I’m happy.” If you can remember it, it was probably after some great test or trial, the result of coming through the fire, maybe scorched, but alive.
Kyle: I don’t know what I want to do with my life. And I think that’s fine. I’m after new experiences in life and I believe if I keep chasing those things that I can put myself in a place that I will find what I’m supposed to do. So, I’m doing it, honestly. I’m following my passion, I’m chipping away, and I think that will lead me in the direction that I need to go and will provide for me.
Some people just know what they want to do, and that’s great. We’re happy for those people. But it’s also okay to not know. We all have friends that went to school for four years and were just miserable.
Kyle: Twenty year old Kyle was not ready for college. I’ll be the first to tell you. I went to college. Or let’s just say I was enrolled in college. But I wasn’t there, my mind was on totally different things.
Sometimes we need to get to know ourselves before we can make big life decisions, like what we want to do. And it can take a really long time to get to know ourselves. We asked Morgan and Kyle about experiences where they learned something new about themselves. They told us more about their journey as a couple, and the different things they did while still holding onto their relationship. Kyle went for another summer as a rafting guide after he and Morgan started dating, then Morgan went to work on an organic farm in Hawaii for a summer before they ever spent a season together in Colorado.
Kyle: I’m super proud of our relationship; for enabling each other to go do those things.
Morgan: You’re together on this path, but you’re not on the same path. You can walk together, but you don’t have to take the same route.
Wow. Not only is that great trust, it’s empowering to know that your partner is supporting whatever figurative mountain you want to climb, even when they can’t accompany you on the ascent. With a great partner, there’s a lot you can hope to accomplish. You know your relationship isn’t dependent on circumstances but rather on the foundation of your own communication, beliefs, and desires. With that knowledge, you may go climb different mountains knowing you’re coming back to the same base camp.
So then, what does the future hold? What does this power couple hope to be doing a year from now? Five years from now?
Morgan: I’d like to have my own food business of some kind. I’ve wanted that for so long. Something small. But, I don’t know, I want to listen to that voice. It’s hard for me to plan out my life. I tried to do that. I went to college, I focused so hard on trying to get through it and finish it out. But my heart wasn’t in it. I didn’t want to be there. I got burned. I was watching all my friends and just wondering why I didn’t feel like I was supposed to be there. I wanted to be the farthest place from there. In the last few years I feel like I’ve been listening to that voice more, riding the wave and just trying to learn from where I’m at. I’m working for a small business and learning so much. I just want to let that lead me in the right direction.
So, what is their advice for people going through this “in-between” phase of life?
Morgan: Try things. I think working in the outdoor field to some degree whether it be a job or volunteering, it grounds you. You learn so much about yourself.
Me: Why the outdoors?
Kyle: It’s a physical manifestation of a barrier. You get out what you put out. You see where you need to go and you just have to get there. You have to listen to that voice and trouble shoot. You can’t control things. You have to work with the elements.
Also, get rid of the people that don’t make you want to be a better person. Surround yourself with people that make you want to strive to be better and do the things you love. And everything in life that’s worth anything comes with a struggle.