Taking a literal leap to represent our figurative one: feeling terrified of the unkwown.

We quit our jobs and we’re moving back to Arkansas. Now we’re equal parts terrified and excited, uneasy and ecstatic.

As 2019 rolled into view and we were in the thick of holiday season working retail, we started discussing our thoughts on leaving the outdoor retailer we work for. It’s easy to think about a different career when you’re in the hardest part of the year with your current one. During the holidays we work extra long hours which in and of itself is not terrible. But combined with the fact that we live a long commute from our families, this means we don’t get to sit with them at Thanksgiving and have to make the trip for Christmas a short one.

As exciting as it is to move to a new place and as grateful as we are to have had the opportunity to (we asked to move!), starting over in a new town and having work as the center of our lives began to weigh us down quite quickly.

Let me be clear: I love the outdoor industry, I love Gearhead Outfitters, and I love the people I have had the opportunity to work for and with. Meeting the coolest people and outfitting them for their adventures has me grinning ear to ear most days. And our co-workers are our friends, our mentors, and our family.

Ribbon cutting for Gearhead Outfitters in Utica Square.

Knowing these things made this a difficult decision to wrestle with. As eager as I am for what comes next, I walk into work most days now and think, “Did we make the right decision?”

I’m going to miss the people I work with. I’ll miss the customers I can greet by name and the new ones I get to introduce to Gearhead. I’m going to miss this city that I’ve become so enamored with. I’m going to miss a steady paycheck and sweet deals on gear!

So what are we trading all of that for?

We’re moving back to Jonesboro where Jackson is from and I went to college. Jackson is going to work with his dad working on (and very soon building) homes. I’m going to re-direct all of my energy into my passion: writing.

Working more for ourselves means we’ll have more time to spend with those we love (also made possible by how much closer we’ll live to them) and more freedom to do what we love: travel.

Couple hiking and backbacking Four Pass Loop in Colorado.

We’ve been playing with the idea of working for ourselves, living on the road, and even that whole van-life or tiny home thing for quite some time. Most millennial’s dream, right? But honestly, taking a step towards this reality is terrifying.

I remember sitting on the back deck of our new home in Tulsa (another thing I’m sad to leave behind) last year and saying to Jackson during one of these conversations about a different life, “I think eventually you just have to leap. This is the kind of thing you can talk about doing and plan and plan for, but eventually you just have to jump.”

Hanging out in a hammock in our backyard on a beautiful day in Tulsa.
Hammocking at our new home in Tulsa on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

As we talked about how to make this happen, we acknowledged it would mean leaving our solid jobs. It would mean living a little uncomfortably for awhile since we’d have to work to save up and then live on those savings. It’ll mean a lot of work.

But we also realized one very important thing: we want to create something that’s ours. We want to have the freedom to make it succeed (or fail) all to ourselves. We also want to travel. And we want to see our families more.

So we decided to make it happen.

We knew who we would tell first and the series of phone calls that would unfold thereafter. We knew once we’d said it aloud there would be no turning back.

“The scariest thing will be just putting it out there,” Jackson said. “Like jumping off a cliff; once you’ve done it, you’re no longer terrified. It’s just exhilarating. You can’t turn back, all you can do is enjoy the fall.”

I was ready. I told him that. He grabbed my hand (metaphorically) and we jumped. After making the first phone call he looked at me one evening and said, “Well, there’s no turning back now. We stepped off the ledge and now we’re just falling.”

Except now we realize he was wrong about not being scared after jumping. We’re still equal parts terrified and excited, uneasy and ecstatic. But he was right about the second part: we can’t turn back, all we can do is enjoy the fall.

Terrified of the future but still enjoying the fall.
Terrified of the future, but still enjoying the fall.

4 thoughts on “Free Falling”

  1. So, so, happy for you guys! I know you will succeed at whatever you choose to do and make the most of everything thrown at you. Looking forward to all your travel adventures and hopefully am able to join a few😁

  2. So much of what you talk about are what we are feeling as we get ready to take the jump. The fear, the excitement, the what ifs all pile up. And so much of what you two love and are wanting to do in life falls in line with Carlie and I. Writing, travelling, tiny homes, van life, building houses. All of it. We are looking forward to getting to know you two better and sad to hear you are leaving Tulsa so soon after meeting you and Jackson. But, we are leaving soon too! Selling the house, the cars, everything that doesn’t hold emotional or long term value for us. Gone. It is scary. We aren’t to the free fall part but we will be soon. Not sure if you have heard of or like a band called Rainbow Kitten Surprise but they have a song “It’s Called: Freefall” and it has been playing in my head nonstop. The chorus is “you could let it all go, you could let it all go, its called Freefall, its called Freefall” which pretty much sums these feelings up. Cheers!
    Brady and Carlie

    1. We are bummed to be leaving Tulsa, too(especially after connecting with like-minded people!), but so excited for what it means in way of adventures to come. Perhaps our paths will cross again and even if they don’t we will look forward to following and supporting your adventures! Can’t wait to chat with you more in a couple weeks!

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