It’s been about a month since we left our job, drove away from Tulsa, and began working for ourselves. Technically it’s not really self-employment since Jackson is working with his dad and I work, but don’t get paid — yet!
We made a really bold decision to leave our jobs for a variety of reasons, but the deciding factor came down to this: we couldn’t bear the thought of waking up years from now wondering, “What if?”
What if we had tried to build our dream jobs? What if we had left what was comfortable in order to chase a bigger dream? What if we spent fewer days working together and more time encouraging each other to chase our individual passions? What if we had had more time closer to our families and more time to travel the world?
We made a decision that will yield a reality where we won’t ask ourselves this question. This decision, though, now begs the question, “What now?”
The scariest part is over. Now it’s time to trust in our willingness to work hard to get us where we want to be. We’re between the comfortable life we had and the dream life we want. But that’s the point of this blog remember?! It’s all about embracing the in-between!
Here’s a life update to let ya in on the good, the awesome, and the honest-to-goodness reality of where we’ve found ourselves.
The Good (Working for Ourselves)
We are enjoying the new challenges our respective work brings us. Jackson is working with his hands and doing a lot of physical labor. That means he’s hungrier at the end of the day and he comes home dirty. He’s learning a lot and getting some ideas about what his first step will be for acquiring his own property.
I spend most of my day writing stories, sending pitches, working on the blog, and reading. This is exactly what I want to be doing. The only kicker for me is I have to figure out how to make enough money to make it sustainable… I’ve gotten a few positive responses so we’ll see where those lead!
The Awesome (Life)
We live in this beautiful house.
We can take absolutely no credit for these fortunate circumstances. Nor can we tell you that you, too, can live in a beautiful home after quitting your job…. BUT I mention this here because it’s something we’re wildly grateful for.
Jackson’s dad let us move into this home that he restored based on a deal that does not include us paying rent at the moment. I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Not only do we have one giant financial obligation wiped from our plate, but Jeb Spencer is dang good at his craft. I gotta be honest I feel I/we don’t deserve to live in such a beautiful home… but we do live in this home, and so I am reminded to be thankful and to always pass on kindness when I can.
We’ve been shown a lot of support.
We leapt not knowing what kind of circumstances we’d land in, but we trusted our gut and this is where we are, for now, because of some incredible people backing us up. I am not suggesting that if you leap into the unknown you’ll land exactly like we did, but I am suggesting that you look around and take note of how many people in your life would help you stick the landing. It’s probably more people than you thought. For you, some backup might look like a friend that’s willing to let you crash on their couch while you work on your dream or a sibling that’s willing to watch the kids while you put in extra hours learning a new skill.
Our backup is coming in all sorts of ways: Jackson’s mom comes over once a week to talk over my writing and help me improve, my brother helped me install a new hard drive, and my professor recommended me to a media company that just might lead to a part-time job . I’m sure a lot more help will be needed as we work to get on our feet. I look forward to making every single person that is helping us proud and hope to one day be able to amplify the kind of love and support they’re giving us back to them. Speaking of people we love…
We’ve been spending more time with friends and family.
We’ve been taking our time catching up with our loved ones. My baby cousin is developing a personality and is the most handsome boy ever. Jackson’s niece is the sweetest and most beautiful little girl on the planet (do I sound biased?). I went and spent a few days with my dad and my grandma and we’re hanging out with our dear friends for the second weekend in a row.
We’re embracing the change of pace.
Our decision to move back to Arkansas was not an easy one. We left a comfortable career; we left a store and a team we had worked so hard to build; we left a city that we’d fallen head over heals for. But we traded all of that for days we spend together not working. We traded meeting new people all the time for more time with friends and family we’ve only been able to visit briefly in the past couple years. And we traded a lot of time spent working for time we will use to travel.
I want to make clear that the time before was well spent. We are grateful for the opportunity to have lived in different places, meet new people, and work together (which taught us A LOT about each other and communication as a couple). It was simply time to move on and experience a different stage of life.
Here’s the thing: even if this lifestyle turns out to be unsustainable, even if I can’t make crap and have to get a day job or night job or whatever, even if our dreams don’t work out: THIS TIME WAS WORTH IT! This time spent catching up with the ones we love is so treasured. I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
The Reality
It’s not all walks in the park… actually we haven’t taken many walks in the park at all, much to Kona’s dismay, because we’re still trying to find our rhythm.
The reality of working for ourselves is that we’re still trying to figure it out. We still don’t know where we’re going. We determine each step as we take it. I had this realization the other day that we may never feel “comfortable” again. As I pitch articles and try to land my next paycheck, I realize that life as a freelancer will mean repeating this process over and over. It will likely get a little bit easier as I make contacts and build a portfolio, but I better accept early on that there will always be a whole lot of uncertainty involved.
We’re extremely grateful for all the support and help we are receiving. However, we don’t want to need this help for long and we don’t want to borrow anything we don’t intend to pay back (monetary or service).
The reality is there are bound to be many challenges, difficult days, and hard conversations ahead as we restructure our lives build our dream jobs from the ground up.
All that being said, right now we are quite content with our decision. I’ll leave you with some words from a song I’ve got playing on repeat (if you haven’t heard it, go listen to it, like right now). It pumps me up to take on everyday with passion and drive because we decided to burn our bridges and move forward, together.
Lyrics by Johhnyswim:
So here we find ourselves arms deep in a wishing well
Holding to love, a love that’s ours
Steady we’ve kept our eyes clear from the exit sign
Knowing that fear can feel like doubt
Oh oh oh, no point in staying safe
Oh oh oh, it just gets in the way
So let’s burn the bridges down
Let’s burn the bridges down
Light ’em up, no turnin’ around
Light ’em up, they just get in the way
Strike a match anytime, it’ll turn into flame
Say goodbye, I know I’ve said all mine
The love that we keep is the shelter we find
If you’re thinking about taking a leap, ask yourself this question, “Will I always wonder what if?”