Do you ever feel like you jump into something wholeheartedly, but once you’re in the thick of it all you can think is, “WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER?!” You started the race focused on and enthusiastic about your goal, but you become tired, weary.
Where’s the finish line?
I ran cross country and track and field for Arkansas State University in college. After a decent high school career, I looked forward to trying out longer distances (I’m not fast, so the longer the race, the better). My first experience racing the 10k was everything I hoped it would be. I had an idea of what time I would like to run, and I knew the splits I’d need to clock to achieve it. I ran all twenty-five laps right on pace, gliding around the oval under the bright stadium lights. My brother was there to call my splits and halfway through the race I still felt charged with the energy to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I was eager to give the race another go.
A few weeks later in Tennessee I lace up spikes and toe the line for my second stab at the six point two mile race. My distance coach is absent. The head track coach claps as enthusiastically as he can manage through the whole race saying, “Way to go, Lindsey.”
My teammates stand near the start/finish line to call my splits. They holler and clap and shout my times that I know are much too fast for early in the race. After eight laps I realize, horrified, that I have seventeen laps to go. Four laps later I’m not even halfway through the race. What a terribly long race! I think. I have more than three miles to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Wait, what are my splits now? I’m not wearing a watch. I hadn’t heard Heather call it on the last lap…
I cross the start/finish and Heather, not looking at the watch, says, “Good job, Linds!” But what about the split? Uh oh. It must be bad.
Each lap drags on. The air feels sticky and my legs feel like bricks. Ten more laps. Eight more laps. Seven more laps. Will it ever end?
Goal Chasing Isn’t All Leaps and Bounds; Sometimes It’s More Like a Crawl
Sometimes life feels like that race. As I enter a new season, I’m reminded how exciting a project or a goal seems in the beginning. Ideas paint a picture in our head of what our future will look like and excitement fuels our action. One big leap towards our goal can feel like flying, but when it comes time to take the little steps it seems as if the finish line has moved.
We become weary. Each step is labored by the weight of our legs, the pounding of our heart, the struggle to breathe, and the throbbing in our head. We’re not really sure what our pace or our progress looks like anymore, but we’re pretty confident it’s slow. Suddenly, finishing doesn’t seem possible. The picture in our head starts to fade and become distorted. Perhaps we were foolish to take on such a goal and it’s just not right for us after all.
We can hear our friends rooting us on from the sidelines and their cheers and encourage us to keep moving, but what we want to say back is, “You don’t understand. I’m trying! It’s just so hard!”
I wish I could say my next stab at racing the 10k went great and that the moral of the story is if we keep pressing on we will always reach our goal. Actually, my next 10k went, okay; it wasn’t the disaster of round two, but it also wasn’t the success I was hoping for after the first one went so well. I didn’t make much progress and that was final season racing track for the Red Wolves.
However, the next spring I did start training for my first marathon. I raised money as a St. Jude Hero and qualified for Boston. I competed in my first triathlon and ran an ultra marathon through the Ozark Mountains.
Keep Moving
Sometimes we don’t achieve our goals, but sometimes we must take the next step towards them anyway because of the role they play in achieving something bigger. Sometimes we must press on through our fatigue and our pain to get to a finish line that will not make us smile. These finish lines are as important as any other because we need the hard, painful, weary steps as much as we need the leaps and the bounds.
It’s okay to feel like the finish line is moving farther away, just don’t stop putting one foot in front of the other. It’s okay to be weary, just don’t stop moving.